angie (2)

Daddy issues.

Ever heard that phrase escape the lips of any Nigerian before? I bet you haven’t. The only times I have were in jokes.

Nigerians, and indeed Blacks generally believe there are certain things that are White conditions e.g. mental ailments like schizophrenia, clinical depression, autism etc. Therefore, stuff like daddy issues are surreal in the Nigerian context.

However, that we refuse to acknowledge a thing does not eliminate the fact that it exists. Not talking about the dysfunctional relationships between the girl-child and the father does not mean it does not affect her adversely in more ways than we can imagine. In fact, I dare to say that a many good men have daddy issues too. If as a guy you are scrunching up your nose, thinking that idea is ‘girly’ then I’ll say, “wake up and smell the coffee, that’s the reality.”

We must come to a point where we accept the fact that we are all an embodiment of experiences. Thus, the poor relationship between a father and a child runs into the future to torment that child as demons from the past when that child is grown or the good one moulds the child into a self-assured adult.

Allowing the dynamic of the father-child relationship to revolve around fear, constant disapproval and distance makes that child grow up to keep seeking approval and acceptance in the wrong places. Such a relationship erodes the child’s self-esteem.

You see that hooker on the streets, that girl who is being abused in a relationship and remains in it, that woman that works her finger to the bones in the corporate world, that mother that seems to hate her own kids, that boy who’s hooked on drugs, that guy that beats his woman, that man that distances himself from his family and that guy whose self-esteem is eternally bruised may just have daddy issues.

Daddy issues do not justify terrible choices made in life but they account for a good number of them. Also, sometimes these issues from your past manifest subtly. So, do you have daddy issues?

by Angie Inspired | @2017 Deliberate Scroll